A little serious post

Sometimes I need someone to remind me of my worth.

Most of the time I am able to detect what is really about them rather than me, but sometimes I need a little reminder of this.

It is hard to be a girl. One of the bloggers I look up to is thugxwife from her tumblr of that name (http://thugxwife.tumblr.com/) she is a wolf-goddess-mermaid who speaks honestly and eloquently. She stands by her opinions and isn't afraid to prove ignorant people wrong (and they so very often are.) I've taken a lot from her posts, mode recently her opinions on the term "girl crush" and how homophobic it really is.

Anyway, I hope to one day have the confidence that she does. And I hope to one day feel as comfortable in my body as she does. She is gorgeous and intelligent as just so very admirable.

All that aside, recently I have made a lot more jewelry (goldenhair madness designs) and people truly love it. It is hard for me to take compliments, and then post them, but they really have. 

I got more moths added to my old one, and that makes me feel more powerful.

I feel like I am more than competent in my knowledge of vintage, as I worked with it for years, as well as with my makeup skills. The latter I know I can always improve on and the former I would always love to receive formal training on. 

It is hard when someone doesn't understand what you do, and due to their misconceptions they belittle you. 

I need to work up my nerve a little more and not allow others to determine for me how much I matter. 

Your job as a surgeon does not make you any more of a human than me. My job doesn't save lives, but it allows me to embrace and even make a living off of art. Along with that, is the gratification of making another person feel more confident in themselves; more comfortable in her (and sometimes his) body. 

So yes, this is my full time job. 

And to balance things out, I'm going to post a few photos of my jewelZz. I use antique pocket watches and in the bodies I put crystals, dried flowers, occasionally feathers, and something special and/or spooky (Knuckle bones of wolves, shark teeth, assorted animal claws...)

And here are the moths 

Jewels and crystals and changes

The week before last, the day before the world was supposed to end, a woman sat in my chair at work and told me about the Aztec calendar. So, the way it goes, the world was not supposed to end and a new calendar was going to start. She had an exact number of years (that I can't remember) that the calendar that was ending was made up of, and told me that this calendar that was ending was very focused on the masculine side of things and this new calendar to start was supposed to be very.. For lack of better words to explain.. girl powered.

She also told me that we needed to meditate at 3:12am about what we were hoping for in this new calendar year. Although I did not meditate, this whole concept really stuck with me. Every new year everyone has this "new year, new you" mindset of hopes to lose weight or get prettier or fix something, and I didn't really care about any of that until she told me about this x-number of girl power years to come.

I do want to make things happen, I truly want to get over the things(people) that seem to be holding me back, and I want to honestly start creating things again. I desperately need to move on and for once I feel like I can. Or even simply that I want to.

I get caught up in things and I tell long stories and forget the point. That's okay. Girl power year(s) of change.

So I bought a book on crystals and I am collecting flowers to press and I started making jewelry. And I still want to learn metal smithing, but what I'm doing is okay for right now.




I'm still into weird things, still morbid, still would rather watch x-files and makeout with someone as opposed to going to a super neato awesome house party, bro. Still hate burning man. Still love vintage. Still David Lynch and John Waters obsessed.


I am changing, but laterally. I want this to stick.

And if I had to pick a New Years resolution, it would be to become Yo-Landi Vi$$er.

















PS: I got a haircut, finally, and I'm starting to feel whole again.








PPS: I love David Duchovney.







marry me.