Deathiversary !

So two years ago, I got into a pretty bad car accident in which I didn't die but probably should have. I wasn't injured AT ALL (aside from the bruises I had on my arm because the ambulance failed five times at attempting to give me an IV, and some cuts on my scalp from glass) and it was a really really strange thing to experience. So this year and last I have been referring to May 17th as the anniversary of my death. (My mom calls it my "second birthday" and sent me earrings, my mom is easily the best mom.)

Last year I made my twin drive me around and I got some more moths tattooed on me by Erik Jacobsen at Idle Hand. This year I drove myself to some random woods in Marin, and then my best friend Brian, who was the one who picked me up from the ER and had whiskey, took me to this beautifully Peruvian food restaurant. Delicious and magical.

And on Saturday I am going back to Jacobsen at Idle Hand and am getting a sunflower, which I was inspired to get for a number of reasons but top of the list being my favorite artist, Van Gogh, and his creepy and sad and wonderful sunflowers.

 

This post slightly lacks beauty, but I am currently obsessing over the Wet n' Wild Megalast lipsticks !

Also on the topic of beauty, I just ordered Poppy King's book Lessons of a Lipstick Queen and can't wait to read and report back !

A little serious post

Sometimes I need someone to remind me of my worth.

Most of the time I am able to detect what is really about them rather than me, but sometimes I need a little reminder of this.

It is hard to be a girl. One of the bloggers I look up to is thugxwife from her tumblr of that name (http://thugxwife.tumblr.com/) she is a wolf-goddess-mermaid who speaks honestly and eloquently. She stands by her opinions and isn't afraid to prove ignorant people wrong (and they so very often are.) I've taken a lot from her posts, mode recently her opinions on the term "girl crush" and how homophobic it really is.

Anyway, I hope to one day have the confidence that she does. And I hope to one day feel as comfortable in my body as she does. She is gorgeous and intelligent as just so very admirable.

All that aside, recently I have made a lot more jewelry (goldenhair madness designs) and people truly love it. It is hard for me to take compliments, and then post them, but they really have. 

I got more moths added to my old one, and that makes me feel more powerful.

I feel like I am more than competent in my knowledge of vintage, as I worked with it for years, as well as with my makeup skills. The latter I know I can always improve on and the former I would always love to receive formal training on. 

It is hard when someone doesn't understand what you do, and due to their misconceptions they belittle you. 

I need to work up my nerve a little more and not allow others to determine for me how much I matter. 

Your job as a surgeon does not make you any more of a human than me. My job doesn't save lives, but it allows me to embrace and even make a living off of art. Along with that, is the gratification of making another person feel more confident in themselves; more comfortable in her (and sometimes his) body. 

So yes, this is my full time job. 

And to balance things out, I'm going to post a few photos of my jewelZz. I use antique pocket watches and in the bodies I put crystals, dried flowers, occasionally feathers, and something special and/or spooky (Knuckle bones of wolves, shark teeth, assorted animal claws...)

And here are the moths